His Crooked Heart
by cooperfanatic
Summary: For Sirius, things have been awkward between him and Remus for far too long. He knows that now. And with some help from James, he's going to change that. Warning, Slash. No like, no read.
1. Chapter 1

**Sirius' POV  
**

It's hard to resist him. Every day seems to last an eternity, forcing myself to go through the motions of normalcy when my arms long to pull him close to me, my hands long to smooth over his scarred skin, and my lips long to ensnare his tender mouth with mine. I often find myself, in the middle of class, gazing at him, no doubt with my lust unhidden. I've never felt like this before, not even the combined happiness I got from my time with every insignificant girl I have ever graced with my presence could compare with my unchecked joy when he grants me one of his rare grins, or when he occasionally touches me as friends are wont to do.

Because that's all we are. Friends. And as long as he's happy like this, that's how we'll remain.

Sometimes he catches me staring at him, or looks at me strangely when I touch him a tad too long or often. He always turns away with a slight flush in his cheeks and avoids me as much as possible for the remainder of the day, undoubtedly disturbed by my unusual behavior. I have to wonder if he knows, knows that I love him, or if he's disgusted by my affections. But by the next day it's as if nothing had happened, and he never talks about it. No, I'm convinced that friends are all Remus Lupin and I will ever be.

\*(o_o)*/

Professor Binns was giving an _extremely_ dry lecture that day in History of Magic, though it was made much more bearable by the fact that I got to sit next to Remus for an hour. I was honestly trying to take notes on the goblin uprising Binns was currently rattling off facts about, but my eyelids kept slipping down and I was dangerously close to dropping my head on the table and taking a nap as half the class was doing. It's not as if I really needed to take notes. I usually force (with great amusement on my part) Remus to help me with the homework if not give me the answers straight-away, and I have always had a knack with the tests themselves.

I glanced around the room quickly to see if anyone had noticed my slight drooling. Reassured, I turned to Remus beside me to provide a distraction from the pressing need of sleep, but instead met a pair of soft brown eyes gazing at me. Elbows propped up on the desk, chin cradled in hands, Remus stared at me with a look I couldn't recognize in his eyes. If I didn't know better I would say it was… But that couldn't happen, not him, the most adorable, absolutely amazing, _straight_ person in existence. Whatever the underlying emotion under that smoldering gaze was, it sent shivers up and down my spine and made my whole body flush with heat. For a few moments our gaze was locked together; I was unable to make a move.

Then Remus blinked and seemed to realize I had caught him staring at me. As I watched the blood rushed to his face and his skin shone the most delicious shade of pink. He quickly turned to face the front again and looked to try and interest himself in what Binns was droning on about, but then gave up and dropped his head onto the table in front of us with a soft thud. His face was thus hidden for the rest of the class, but even so, I hardly took my eyes off his rounded back and slightly quivering shoulders.

One of the few times I looked away I received a questioning look from James a row over where he was lounging next to Peter. He sent a pointed glance at the prone Remus beside me and seemed to silently say, "_What's up with him?_". I replied with a simple shrug of my shoulders and turned my eyes back to drinking in every soft curve and hard line of Remus' body.

As soon as the Professor dismissed us to lunch with an essay assignment my desk-mate was up and out the door. He was gone before anyone else could get to their feet. As I was packing my books into my bag James sidled up to me – confidence oozing from his pores as usual – with a strangely unsure face.

"Um, we need to talk." He said hesitantly. I looked up at him and he added, "Alone."

I cocked one eyebrow, but followed him out of the classroom anyway. We stopped in front of an unused classroom and James sent Peter to lunch ahead of us (where Remus was surely absent). Inside the dusty, old room with chairs and tables stacked up on the perimeter, he turned to look at me with that same unsure look, unnatural in the dim light.

It was a minute before he found the words to start with, "Something's been going on between you and Remus lately. I want to know what."

_No beating around the bush then,_ I thought, slightly amused at his directness, but a bit scared to wonder if it was really that obvious. I forced out a chuckle that sounded fake even to me, "What do you mean? Everything's fine."

"Oh please, I don't think you realize how often you two stare at each other. It's as if both of you grew another eye in the middle of your foreheads." He scoffed at me, "It's getting rather ridiculous, the way Remus disappears for the whole day if you so much as brush against him. What did you do to the poor boy, Sirius, rape him?" His look had turned hard, as if his question was even half serious.

I flushed and was speechless for a moment, then burst at him, "What the hell! Do you actually believe I would bloody do that? Much less to Remus? There's absolutely nothing going on between us!"

_Bloody Hell_, I silently cursed, _how is it the thought of Remus is the only thing that can get me worked up like this?_

James matched me for volume in his retort, "If there was nothing going on we wouldn't bloody well be having this conversation!" But then he dropped his voice considerably, and tried to sound reasonably understanding, "Listen mate, you're my best friend. I know when something's wrong. And something is definitely wrong." He pinned me with his gaze, "You know you can tell me anything. I can help you with whatever is going on, you just have to tell me what it is."

I could tell he was honestly concerned about me, and I had to admit that I _have_ been acting rather strangely, even stranger than I usually am. Lately I've been more stressed out and haven't been sleeping well, resulting in dark circles of a concerning size underneath my eyes. Looking back, I could see that during whatever time I've spent with my fellow marauders I've been severely distracted by either Remus himself or the thought of him and how his chocolate eyes glitter in the light of the moon. You know it's gotten bad when even James has noticed it, the vain git who's hopelessly obsessed with that fox Lily Evans.

A moment of serious deliberation while staring at the floor, then I decide my pitiful love has been smothered in the dark for long enough.

"Um, well… I guess there is something I should tell you." _Work up to it, nice and slow,_ I thought, _something less difficult to admit first._

"I… I-," I bring my eyes back up to his concerned ones and force it out, "I'm gay."

A flicker of surprise on his face doesn't go unnoticed, but then he smoothes it out into an expression of acceptance and encouragement, "Oh… That's- that's good. Um, how long have you, ah, known?"

I almost cracked a smile at my best mate's obvious, slight discomfort. "For about… 2 months now, I think."

"Hmm. And what changed? I don't need to remind you of your history and reputation of being a lady-killer."

_Here it is… Maybe he'll be okay with it,_ I hope silently before reluctantly answering with the hard truth. "Now that I'm able to look back, I realize that I was looking for something in all of those girls, something none of them had. Though it was quite a lot of fun, I was never satisfied, and that restlessness kept me going from one to the next." I didn't dare to pause in case James tried to interrupt. If I stopped spilling my guts now, I doubted I could force myself to start again. "Then when it was winter break a few months ago every one was gone. All the girls, you, Pete, every one except for me and Remus had left for the holidays. It was the first time I actually felt happy. We just played wizard's chess and ate the whole time but it was… nice. It was like all that restlessness had melted away along with all the strain and stress that comes with being me."

I dropped my eyes to the floor again; unable to watch James' reactions to what was coming. "When classes started again and everyone was back all that stress came back. But then, whenever I was around Remus it was just a little bit more bearable, a little more fun. I didn't feel the need to date unceasingly, and I didn't miss it. All I needed was Remus. And I still need him, I _want _him."

"You love him."

I whipped my head up and looked at James, who had a silly grin on his face. I must have looked puzzled at his apparent amusement at my crisis, for he expanded on his statement, with the smile still in place. "I suspected something of the sort."

"I still don't see how you can smile, this is a serious problem." I said with a hint of warning in the tone.

Apparently he didn't hear it. "Aw, come on man, it's not as bad as you think," He said, that stupid grin still on his face.

I had an urge to punch that smile off his face, but settled for grabbing fistfuls of his robes and slamming him against the wall next to the door. I shoved my face up into his and snarled at him, "You're not the one that wants to rip the clothes off your best friend _every bloody time_ you see him. Don't you dare tell me it's not as bad as I think, because it's worse than I want to admit even to myself. There's no _fucking_ way Remus is ever going to look at me as anything other than a friend. Where does that leave me, huh?"

James glared at me and said snidely, "And who says Remus won't ever look at you like that? Or doesn't already?"

"Because he's bloody _straight_!"

"Have you even noticed how he's been acting around you lately, how he looks at you?" James asked, exasperated.

"He- he looks at me?" I loosened my grip a little.

James rolled his eyes. "Only all the time."

"You better not be messing with me."

"Sirius, mate," He looked into my eyes, and I knew he was going to speak the truth, "He bloody _loves_ you."

I froze for a minute, searching for something in James' eyes. Then I released him and he smoothed out the wrinkles I made in the front of his robe.

"H- how do you know?"

James turned to me and his lips pulled up in a smirk. "I still can't believe you haven't noticed. He's constantly staring at you whenever you aren't staring at him, and he blushes as red as a beet whenever you touch hands or whatever. Oh, and for the past year he's had an irrational hatred of every girl you were currently with."

I pondered this, then asked, "But if he _is _in love with me, then why does he run away whenever I touch him?"

James waved his hand in dismissal, "Probably just some _I'm not worthy_ werewolf thing. I wouldn't be surprised if he's just as slow as you are and hasn't noticed you've fallen hard for him."

I allowed myself a chuckle at that. "Well, all this is fine and dandy, now that I know he likes me – you better be right – but what should I do about it? What next?"

_I can't believe I'm asking relationship advice from _James_, he can't even get Evans to agree to study with him,_ I thought incredulously.

"Hmm…," James considered silently for a minute, then said, "Well, I think the first thing you have to do is get him to admit he loves you – and believe me, he does – which will be tough on its own. Then you need to convince him that you undeniably, unequivocally love him with all your shriveled, black heart." This last part elicited a mirthful grin from both of us.

"And the best part is," James said quietly and with a knowing smile, "I have a plan."

* * *

**A/N – **Ahh! This is my first story, the whole thing written between 1am-6am. Thank god it's Friday night. Anyway, a million thanks (and a chocolate bar (: ) to anyone who reviews! Please no flames, I don't think my poor, weak heart could take it. If you couldn't tell, it's set during the 4th or 5th year James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter are at Hogwarts, and Professor Binns is still alive.

Now to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **As much as it pains me… I do not own Harry Potter or anything recognizable in this story. D':

**A/N **– So much thanks to bookworm4792, jgrisso07, lady levies, and 0st for reviewing the first chapter of this story! You're the only reason I got this second chapter up even this soon (I know it's not soon at all), what with that little distraction called _school._ So. Enjoy the product of me letting my imagination run wild!

**Remus' POV**

"So," I address Sirius, who at the moment was sprawled on the floor in front of the large fireplace while I was in my usual chair studying my Arithmancy textbook. The Gryffindor Common room was nearly deserted at this late hour, but the Marauders were usually up for another hour yet, often planning their next great prank. Peter was already in bed (not a surprise), but James was curiously absent. "Tell me again why James decided – after 16 years – that sleep is important?"

Sirius raised his head a bit off the floor and eyed me for a moment, "You study too much," he whined. I scoffed inwardly at his attempt at changing the subject, but decided to humor him. He's obviously planning something with James and I pitied the poor victim.

"You don't study enough," I quipped.

"Why would I need to study?" Raising himself into sitting cross-legged, Sirius grinned playfully at me. "Especially when I have you, Moony Dear."

Even though I knew he was just teasing, I could feel myself flush at the endearment. Sirius had no idea how much I wished he wasn't just playing…

I collected myself, then jokingly threatened, "Well let's see just how far you get without my he-"

Just then a loud crash sounded in the hallway outside the portal. The clanging seemed to ring in the air forever.

"What the bloody hell was that?" said Sirius, who was by then on his feet like the 3-odd people left in the room.

I stood up from the chair and set my textbook gently down on a side table. "Just Peeves having fun, I expect." A glance around the room revealed no one eager to investigate the suspicious sound, and I sighed. "I guess I'll go check it out then."

I took a step towards the portal hole, wand already out, but Sirius' hand on my shoulder stopped me. I shivered involuntarily at his touch.

"Wait Remus, what if Filch shows up? You know he'll bust you for being out of bed." Sirius' eyes had started to go all puppy-dog on me. I looked away, knowing I couldn't resist him if I was inflicted with the full effect.

"What if someone needs help? Dumbledore trusted me enough to make me a prefect last year, I can't let him down," and I turned to go again.

I could hear Sirius growl behind me, and then he was right at my side.

"What are you doing Sirius?"

"Watching your back, isn't that what mates are supposed to do?"

A small smile worked its way onto my lips.

Out in the hallway, we walked down the hallway to the left until we came upon a suit of armor sprawled out on the floor, in a position much like Sirius had been in before.

I glanced around for a probable cause, but couldn't see anything, not even the near-invisible whiteness of a ghost drifting nearby.

A strong hand gripped my arm before I was suddenly yanked backwards off my feet and dragged through the nearest door. I intended to yell something along the lines of, _"Sirius, you git, what do you think you're bloody doing?"_, but was prevented from making a sound by that same strong hand clamping my mouth closed as the door was kicked shut behind us.

"Shh, be quiet Moony," Sirius breathed into my ear. Shivers ran up and down my spine and I was suddenly glad for the hand suppressing any – er – _sounds_ I might make. Again, Sirius's warm breath tickled my ear as he said, "I heard Filch coming."

Barely able to register what he said, I simply leaned back into Sirius, who was crouched behind me I soon found out, for he toppled over under my weight. A minute passed of me lying contentedly on top of him before he shattered my daydream with a polite cough and muttered, "You can get off me anytime, Moony."

I scrambled up as fast as possible; sure my face reflected my immeasurable embarrassment. Then I doubted he could see it, due to the near-absolute darkness of the unused classroom Sirius had dragged me into.

I heard, but couldn't see, Sirius rise from the floor. I could just imagine his lean limbs pulling himself to his feet, standing with the inherent confident stance that came with being Sirius Black, the object of admiration and lust for nearly every girl at Hogwarts, and the object of envy for nearly every boy. Again I was reminded of how lucky I was to be even this close to him, this amazing person who can do anything he sets his mind to. The fact that this closeness, this trust he places in me, seemingly isn't enough to satisfy my need for his attention disgusts me. Sirius deserves the most beautiful, talented, loving woman in the world, and she would be lucky to have him. I knew that there was no chance in _hell_ that he would ever look at me as anything other than a friend.

I knew that.

And yet these wants, these_ needs_ keep rising up in me, barely suppressible. Sometimes he gets too close and it's almost painful, how much I want him. I then flee, like the contemptible coward I am. I escape to a little cranny somewhere I won't be found and attempt to get a grip on my rampaging emotions. I again tell myself I'm just a scrawny little werewolf with patched clothes and an unnatural love of books. In every way I'm incompatible with the dark vision of desire that is Sirius.

No. No chance in hell.

"Do you think Filch is gone?" Sirius whispered into the dark, a few minutes after I almost squished him to death.

"Probably." I stepped forward carefully, hands in front of me, until I could feel the wood of the door under my fingertips. I slid my hands down the wood near the right side of the door frame until I encountered the doorknob and attempted to open the door. However, the handle refused to turn.

"Bloody hell, it's locked." I proclaim to the darkness around me.

**A/N – **Yes, this was a rather short chapter. But don't worry, the rest will be up soon! Can you guess what James' plan was? I wonder what Sirius will do now that he has poor little Remus all to himself in the dark… ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **Still don't own anything… *cry*

**Remus' POV**

The doorknob refused to budge yet again after another attempted spell, and my frustration got the better of me, "Damn the bloody bastard who thinks this is funny!"

A good 10 minutes had passed while I threw every kind of unlocking, destruction, and melting spell I knew at that door. Every one was ineffective, and I finally had to admit defeat. Whoever had cast this spell knew what they were doing, and we weren't going to get out of this room until that person deemed it fit that we should.

"So I take it we're stuck?"

I turned to look at the other occupant of this dusty old room, but couldn't see much of Sirius beyond the barest outline of his shape.

A huff, a sigh, then reluctant acceptance. "Yes. We're stuck."

"Then I guess we'll just have to make the best of it, won't we?" I could hear the grin in his voice, but couldn't see it.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

Sirius said loftily, "There's no reason we can't still get some sleep, is there? It's not like this situation is preventing us from what we usually do. We can still talk and plot and sleep, like always. Oh, but I guess you can't study like you do all the time."

"Damn," I muttered as that realization hit me.

Sirius let out a peal of laughter at my distress, "What's got you so bloody worked up about studying anyway?"

I stared in his general direction for a moment, and then said, "Oh, you know, tests. In particular the 3 we have _next week._"

Silence from Sirius for another long moment, then a reiteration of my earlier sentiment.

"Damn."

"Don't tell me you _forgot,_" I said unbelievingly. Then a second consideration revealed that it was entirely believable because this was _Sirius_ we were talking about here. "Padfoot, you can't be serious, these are important tests!"

"I'm always Sirius," he stated with a small snicker.

The corners of my mouth unfailingly rose at the clever (though much over-used) play on words Sirius was so fond of. I couldn't hold in the chuckle that came up my throat and soon I was outright laughing at the stupid joke. But it felt so good to just let go and laugh, to let myself out of the box I had made myself, so I just dropped onto my bum and guffawed some more.

I don't know when Sirius had joined me, but there he was, I could sense him rolling on the floor beside me and hear him cracking himself up.

The chortles faded away after a bit, and we were left lying on the dusty floor next to each other. For the first time in ages I didn't feel ashamed to be this close to Sirius. I felt like I belonged there, on the floor next to him, both of us covered in filth with tear-streaks through the grime on our face from laughing so hard. But I still had enough sense to know I could owe a large part of this happy feeling to the darkness that blanketed and surrounded us, wrapping me in a cocoon of anonymity and hiding my deepest emotions from the chance of discovery by the one person I wanted least to find them.

Sirius broke the comfortable silence that had settled over us, "Everything's always funnier in the dark."

"What am I ever going to do with you Padfoot?" I mused.

"What would you ever do without me, Moony?" He countered jokingly.

I chuckle once, then let the silence drop again for a moment.

"But I guess if I had to be stuck in here with anyone for a whole night, I'm glad it's you," I admit.

"Do you really mean that?" asked Sirius.

"Of course, you're my best mate." I thought he knew that.

His slight hesitation didn't escape my notice, but he pushed on. "Then why have you been avoiding me lately?"

"W-what?" I sputter. Could it really have been that obvious? Is it possible he suspects…? "I haven't been avoiding you." _Even I wouldn't believe that._

"Moony. If I so much as look at you, you disappear for the rest of the day."

"Well, I… Um…" I couldn't exactly argue with him. Even exaggerated it was true enough.

Sirius plunged forward, in spite of my obvious discomfort with this topic. Or maybe it was because of it, it's a signal for something underlying it. "Something has been bothering you, I can tell. Did I do something wrong?"

"No! No, you haven't done anything wrong." How could he think that? This is all my fault, because I can't control my emotions. Above all Sirius should know that.

"Then please," He sounded almost desperate, "please tell me what's bothering you."

Should I tell him? Spill everything I have been thinking about and dreaming about and yearning for, boiled down to a few short words, I love him and wish that he would love me back? Just blurt it out and hope he doesn't laugh in my face?

Who am I kidding. There's no other way it could end. This concern he is showing me is nothing but the natural care for a friend. Nothing more or less. Sirius has always been loose with the ladies and carefree in everything he does. He never lets what other people think about him to affect how he views himself or how he chooses to live his life. He's overcome amazing struggles, ridding himself of his horrid family and standing up for what's right and just. But the most wonderful thing, the most beautiful thing anyone has ever done for me he did along with both James and Peter. They joined me, as close as they could get, in my monthly descent into Hell.

It's disgustingly selfish of me, but I can't risk losing him, losing any of them. I can't make myself say the words that would drive him away. Those same words he has the right to hear.

One day these feelings will force their way out. I can feel them rising each day, pushing up my throat, closer to spilling out my mouth.

But I choose later rather than sooner.

"I- I can't. I'm sorry, but I'm just not ready to tell anyone yet." It scalded my mouth to say, to cheat him like this, even though I speak the truth.

"Oh… okay." He's so trusting of me, it makes my heart hurt. "But you know you can always tell me anything, right? Even if it's just to shove off."

"Yes, I know, Padfoot."

"Good."

**Sirius' POV**

A weak shaft of sunlight shot through the window on the far wall, straight into my eyes. My eyelids tried to stay closed as my heavy limbs attempted to convince me to stay put, but I forced myself to move in spite of the stiffness in my joints. I guess that comes with sleeping on the floor.

Well, not technically sleeping on the _floor._ Sometime last night, after Remus and I had been locked in this abandoned classroom by a particularly clever spell from James, we ended up falling asleep in the dark while sitting against the wall next to each other.

I looked over at my fellow captive, now able to see him after who knows how long of talking while unable to. Remus had slumped over to rest his head on my shoulder, and I was struck by how unbelievably vulnerable he was. He always had walls up and let them down for nearly no one. Only a few times had I been able to see the true, exposed Remus, and never during school. While asleep all the premature lines in his face from the stress and anxiety went away, and he looked as young as he truly was, an inexperienced 16 year-old. The new sunlight lit his face with a soft glow, highlighting the few ridged scars crossing his otherwise perfect skin. I knew Remus hated his scars, felt they marked him as a dangerous werewolf and served as a constant reminder to him to keep control. But to me they weren't a flaw, they were simply part of him, just as his straight nose and deep brown eyes flecked with gold were. And on a more superficial note, I thought they made him look damn sexy.

I eased myself out from under him, supporting him until I gently rested him so he was lying sideways on the ground. For a few minutes I simply sat on my heels and gazed at Remus, committing every detail to memory. His ashy brown hair, perfect in its degree of waviness, his abnormally long eyelashes that worked well with him where it would look unnatural with anyone else, his soft, curved, and slightly pink lips that looked completely kissable.

Without thinking I leaned in close to him, closer, until my lips were just an inch from his. His scent was intoxicating, his face so near mine. Then I caught myself, and leaned back again. I can't force anything on him, not even a kiss he wouldn't remember. That would just be taking advantage of him. Last night I vowed I would move at his pace, when he is so troubled by something he can't even tell me. I couldn't live with myself if I just blundered forward without considering him when I claim to love him.

Because I do love him. And because I love him, I will wait until he's ready to accept or deny my affections. I can't make him decide when he's not prepared to choose in a way that truly reflects his desires. However long that takes, it doesn't matter. But that doesn't mean I can't help him a bit.

It nearly killed me to break the serenity of the moment, but I eventually had to shake Remus awake so we could sneak up to the dormitory before everyone woke up. Remus was adorable in his grogginess, always rubbing his eyes and yawning, but soon was alert and back to his old, calculating self.

Sure enough, when I tried the doorknob it opened easily, and I figured James had used a complicated timed locking spell and then went up to bed while we had to sleep on the floor. Remus was disgruntled that the perpetrator had outwitted him, and I was sure he would be mortified if he found out that mastermind was actually dimwitted James.

Darting across the hallway and leaping through the portrait hole as soon as the Fat Lady creaked open, we managed to hightail it up to our room without being seen by anyone. A quick glance at the two occupied beds assured us we were the only ones awake. Making as little noise as possible (and me trying as hard as I could not to peek) we undressed and pulled on our pajamas before crawling into our respective beds. I don't know about Remus, but I was asleep just as soon as my aching head hit my soft, welcoming pillow.

I was shaken awake only an hour later, to my extreme annoyance.

"Sirius! Sirius, wake up!" James hissed into my ear.

I shoved him away, "I'm awake, god dammit! What do you want? Don't you know it's Saturday? I can sleep in as long as I want!"

"Shh! You'll wake up Remus," He glance over me to the bed next to mine, belonging to a certain werewolf who was, thankfully, still asleep.

At the mention of Remus' name my irritation lessened slightly and I lowered my voice, "So what's so urgent you need to wake me up at… at _8am_ on _Saturday_?"

"Did you do it?" He looked at me like I should know what he's talking abo- Oh!

"Ah… No… I didn't," I whispered sheepishly.

"Padfoot! You mean I did all that prep work for nothing? I thought you were going to get him to confess to you!"

"Things are different now, I realized I can't force him if he's not ready. I'm going to go at his pace, even if it's ridiculously slow."

James looked at me funny, then said, "You really love him don't you?"

"Of course, Prongs."

"Good. I couldn't help you if you didn't."

**A/N** – SOOOO SORRY for leaving you guys hanging so long, I'm forever indebted to those of you who still stick with me! Speaking of, trillions of thanks to those of you who reviewed since the first chapter, TimeAndRhythmDoesIndeedSleep, i love JPLE and FRED DDD, WishFlower, and verecundus who reviewed twice! I'll try to get the next chapter up soon, I just have to think of what's going to happen next. Oh yeah! Happy holidays to everyone, whatever religion and whatever holidays you are celebrating :)


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Devastation from disownment…

A/N – Love to verecundus (again), WishFlower, catch that snitch (awesome name, by the way ;D), and evol love for blessing me with your wonderful reviews! I love you all, and your reviews make me extremely, unbelievably happy, so please review!

**Sirius' POV**

Breakfast that morning was back to normal. Well, as normal as it was before Remus started avoiding me. Because he _had been avoiding_ me, no matter what pathetic excuse he stutters out. _But we're past that now_, I hoped.

I loaded a second helping of every dish in front of me onto my plate and dug my fork into the mountain of food. But before it could complete its journey to my mouth I looked up and saw Remus staring at me with amazement from across the table.

"Where do you put it all?" He asked when I looked at him.

"I have a hollow leg."

"Oh," he shifted his attention to James beside him, who was at the moment relating his latest crusade to win Lily Evans' affections.

"And I was waiting there at the end of the shoe trail, flowers in one hand, chocolates in the other, and then I asked her to accompany me to Hogsmeade next weekend." He sighed in remembrance, obviously not realizing the average person doesn't appreciate discovering all their shoes missing, then finding one after another leading in a trail to an arrogant git who won't take a hint. "She got so angry her face got as red as her hair, it was so adorable. I'm sure she'll come around soon and accept my invitation."

I fought to keep the food in my mouth as a bark of laughter burst out of my throat involuntarily. James had been saying the same thing for the past 3 years, "Oh, she'll come around soon".

I attempted to swallow while suppressing chuckles and only succeeded in nearly choking to death on a chunk of unchewed breakfast. Peter pounded on my back until I bellowed hoarsely, "Peter, I'm bloody fine!"

"Yes, well," Some mate James was; he didn't even seem concerned with my health after my brush with death. Said 'mate' glanced around at the tables in the Great Hall, just now starting to fill up with groggy students who took the opportunity to sleep in. "I better get going, it's almost 9. Quidditch practice will be starting soon and Shacklebolt will have my head if I'm late again." With that he stood up from the table and headed off to change in the Gryffindor locker rooms.

"I heard Shacklebolt increased the practices to 2 ½ hours on Saturdays. If they're really serious we might take the cup this year," Remus remarked.

"We better. I think I'll have to kill myself if Slytherin gets it again," I warn.

Peter scoffed at me.

"What? Slughorn's had that trophy in his room for _3 years_ straight! And Regulus never lets me forget it. I think a lesson in humility is far overdue for my baby brother." A mischievous smile replaced my despair.

"He's hardly your 'baby brother'. There's barely a year's difference between you two," Peter pointed out.

"Aw, shut it Pete."

Remus pushed his plate away from him and said, "I'm done eating. I don't know what you two want to do, but I'm going to the library to do my homework."

I weighed my options, _Studying with Remus or hanging out with Peter…_ The preferred choice was obvious.

"Hey Remus, do you think you could possibly help me study for those 3 tests next week?" I plead.

"Why should I?" He asks, but with a small smile on his lips, "I seem to remember a certain git being rather unappreciative last night."

"I appreciate you! I really do." I turned my puppy-dog eyes to their highest intensity and unleashed them on Remus, adding a small pout for good measure, "Pwetty pwease?"

His cheeks flushed pink and I grinned in triumph.

"Fine," he muttered to the table. "The first test is on Monday in DADA, so we'll start on that. But I'm expecting some sort of payment; I'm no longer letting you solicit my services for free."

I laughed outright, and then asked, "What would you like then, most revered professor?"

"Hmm," He tapped his chin, eyes unfocused as he thought hard. "I want… one piece of chocolate for every question you get wrong."

"Done." We shook hands, and I might have held onto his a little too long, for Remus coughed politely and I released him from my grip. I felt my grin falter, but renewed it before either friend noticed. "Just don't expect too many, I don't intend to be an enabler to your addiction."

"I am not _addicted_ to chocolate!" Remus protested, "I just rather _enjoy_ it quite a lot!"

"Yeah, _sure_, whatever you say Moony," I drawl as I stand up from the table and start to stroll toward the open doors. "Denial is always the first sign…"

I heard my little werewolf sputter indignantly then jump up from the table and stalk down the aisle to meet me as I reached the large doors. Peter was right behind me.

"If you keep acting like that I might have to reconsider upholding my end of our bargain," he threatened.

I mocked terror and squealed out, "Oh no! Please, anything but that! I promise I'll behave Professor Lupin, anything to keep you happy!"

His cheeks flushed once more, and said simply, "Shut it, Pads."

I just laughed and patted him on the back.

\*(o_o)*/

**Remus' POV**

Peter decided to tag along with Sirius and me to the library, after a quick stop in our dormitory to grab the necessary textbooks, because he had nothing better to do. I doubt it even occurred to him to take this opportunity to get some studying in as well. As it was, he just sat across the table from us looking bored as I went over everything in our textbook about the three unforgivable curses. I made Sirius take detailed notes on everything, much to his frustration. I had guided our group to my favorite table in the library, a small, old thing tucked away in a corner of the library rarely visited for academic purposes by anyone other than myself.

We both had our heads bent over my textbook, rather close, enough for me to get drunk on Sirius' musky scent. The only thing that kept me sane was the rattling off of memorized facts and properties which earned me several looks of awe from my pupil. The scritch of Sirius' quill over a scroll of paper was the only sound to accompany the melody of knowledge spilling out of my mouth for a surprisingly long amount of time.

Suddenly Peter rose abruptly from his chair and announced, "I'm leaving, this is getting a smidge too weird for me." And with that, he left.

I gazed at Peter's retreating back in bewilderment, then turned my head toward Sirius, "What do you suppose-," I stopped short when the turning of my head brought my nose within two inches of Sirius', who had turned to me also. My eyes locked with his and I was frozen as if charmed.

As minutes had marched on through our uninterrupted study session Sirius and I had inexorably inched closer and closer unconsciously, until at this moment the sides of our bodies were nearly flush together, sitting on the edges of our seats. The feel of his thigh against mine sent shivers racing out to all my extremities and back, and that spot radiated heat throughout the rest of my body. His eyes held me prisoner, I was trapped in the swirling vortex of stormy gray flecked with silver. We were caught in that moment, unable to break free and restart the clock, and I confess I wasn't keen on the idea of time continuing.

Then, when it seemed that moment would last an eternity, Sirius leaned just the tiniest bit _towards _me, the beginning of an attempt to close the space between us. That small, infinitesimal movement terrified me, and that was what finally broke the spell over me.

I leapt to my feet inhumanly fast and knocked my chair backwards, stuffed my books into my bag and tried to stutter out an excuse, any excuse to get me out of there, "I- I have to go… do something. You c-can't come." I didn't dare to glance even once at Sirius' expression, worried my terror was as recognizable on my face as my nose.

My attempt to make a hasty escape was thwarted when Sirius clutched my wrist in his strong grip and held me in place. I tried to resist, but my resolve was too weak and I peaked a glance at Sirius. He was looking pleadingly at me, guilt and remorse in his eyes, along with something else I wasn't sure of.

His voice was quiet when he murmured desperately, "Please don't run away again, Moony. Please, I'm sorry, I won't do it again." He sounded so pitiful, I couldn't doubt his sincerity. He wasn't joking around anymore.

I stared into his eyes again, but remained in control of my mind and actions. But I couldn't decide what to do, run away and hurt Sirius, or stay and possibly do something I might deeply regret later.

I was still pondering exactly what I should do when a few moments after Sirius' muttered apology James appeared from behind an enormous bookshelf, spotted us, noticed Sirius' hold on my wrist, took one look at my panicked expression, strode toward us between the bookshelves, and smacked Sirius soundly on the side of his head.

A/N – Man, it took me so long to write even this much. I had intended this chapter to be longer, but I felt I owed you guys something after all this time. I'm sorry I left you hanging for so long, _homework_ _will be the death of me._ The second half of the chapter is soon to come!

I can now see this story is going to be much longer than expected, so now I'm making every effort to make sure it fits in flawlessly with the world in J. K. Rowling's head, but a few small things might be different and I'm putting that up to the fact that things might have changed in the 20 years between James and Harry's time. As such, I may be making adjustments to the other installments. You have been warned.


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